Week 2 - "Welcome to Doubtville"

“When in doubt, don’t”
Benjamin Franklin

Taper weeks are the hardest weeks of training. Your body and mind has been focused on distance and speed for 13 weeks then you need to adjust to a new set of rules.

Aches and pains have surfaced where I have no had pains before. Everything hurts and every move I make I feel like I have just pulled another muscle.

The workouts are tough as well. Where I used to be able to knock out a 20 miler, a 13 mile run is a struggle. Tempo runs are labored and track, well this is where the doubt of my ability to run a marathon hit.

Yesterday I ran track at the Lambert High School. First of all this track makes Alpharetta’s track look like a dirt track. The pristine lines, the soft forgiving surface, the clean field, the immaculate stadium made me feel as if I was at a World Championship Track and Field event. The surroundings got the blood pumping for 5 X 1000 meters at a 3:37 pace.

I ran 20 minutes around the high school and elementary school’s grounds then headed down the chute and onto the field. The sun was shining, the sky was crystal blue and the wind was blowing in from the North. The flags on the football goals pinpointed the wind direction and I knew the straightaway was going to be a direct headwind. This means I needed to increase speed on the turn before and after to make up the seconds lost driving right into a Northerly wind.

I changed into my Puma track shoes and figured that each 200M split needed to be achieved on the 43’s. The first 1000M was a snap hitting each 200M on the mark and coming in at 0:03:35. I took my R.I. run and headed to the line to reverse direction for the second 1000.

Rounding the first curve and hitting the 200 mark I was 2 seconds fast. I eased up a little and hit the 400 on 1:25. The legs started to feel the effects on the second 1000. In my head, I thought, “how can this be? I have trained hard and these should be a piece of cake!”

The 600 mark was at 0:02:10, one second behind pace. The effect was the wind, but in my head the doubts started to grow. I shook it off for a moment at I hit the 800 mark at 0:02:53. If I was to make the 0:03:35 goal I needed to knock it on the last 200. Time was 0:03:35.

At the end of the second 1000, I was gassed out. My breathing was hard, the legs were in pain and the gates to Doubtville were opened.

The third 1000 was directly into the wind at the start. The first 200 was at 0:00:43. Right on, but I knew the pressure was on to maintain. The second 200, 0:01:26. Still on track. By the time I rounded for the 800 I was at 0:02:55, 3 seconds too slow. I kicked it on the last 200 taking the turn hard and increasing on the straight coming in at 0:03:36. Still on, but I was toast.

This is where the doubts started in. 1000 meters was hard, how can I run 26.2 miles? The wind is strong, how can I run 26.2 in wind. The pollen is wrecking havoc on my sinuses, what if I have to run 26.2 miles in a pollen cloud?

I hit the line and started out. The legs were in pain, the wind felt as if it was hitting me in every direction, the pollen dust was burning my nose and eyes. I hit the 200 at 0:00:41. Okay, keep going I thought. Then it hit me, I can’t run this. I am done. The 400 mark was 0:01:27. Losing time. There is no way I can run 1000 meters and there is no way I can run a marathon. 600 meter mark, 0:02:14. Why am I putting myself through this, just stop. 800 mark 0:03:02. You are not a runner and cannot accomplish the times you want, so give up. 1000 meters at 0:03:46. This is nine seconds off the 1000 time I had to hit.

I walked around the track huffing and puffing. It usually takes 15-30 seconds for my breathing and heart rate to come back down. After 1 minute 30 seconds I was still breathing hard and my heart was trying to pound out of my chest. I started to laugh. “What a joke!” I said out loud. “There is no way I can do this!” Again out loud.

I started to think, “okay, all I have invested is time, entry fee and a flight. Minimal. I can just give up and forget the whole thing.” “I know I wouldn’t be able to make this last 1000 so, let’s just get out of here and go home.”

As I walked the last curve heading towards my shoes and keys that little competitive voice in me said, “what the heck are you doing!” You are not a quitter, why are you starting now?!” “Get back on that track and run this last 1000 meters!”

I stopped and looked down the straightaway and thought about the last 14 weeks and what I have gone through. I thought about the miles I have run and the past marathon’s I have raced. I have never come in after my goal time in a marathon or half marathon. Why start now?
I headed to the line, took a drink of water, blew out pollen snot from my nose, slapped both legs and told them to wake up, one more to go.

I hit the watch and I was off. Pace, pace, pace went through my head. The first 200M was at 0:00:43. Rounding the northern curve the wind picked up. I tucked in my head, leaned forward and pushed to the 400 mark, 0:01:26. Pace, pace, pace ran through my mind. The only thing I had in my mind as I pushed the doubt back behind the gates and kept moving.
At the 600 meter mark, I was at 0:02:09. Right on. The wind picked again as I rounded and I pushed again. 400 meters to go I thought, no sweat.

At the 800 mark I was at 0:02:53, one second behind the pace. Instead of, “Pace” I said out loud, “Finish”. I kept saying this as I felt doubt pushing against the gate, “Finish”. Coming off the last turn, the legs burned, the lungs burned, the sinuses burned, the eyes burned and all I could hear was my labored breath, “FINISH!” I kicked it pounding the track surface hard with my feet, kicking high, elbows and arms pumping as I crossed the 1000 meter mark.

I am starting to learn that taper is time for the body to relax but this is also a time for the mind to be active. During regular training, you tend to shut off the mind and allow the body to take control to push yourself further and faster than before. Now that the body prepares, the mind has control back and fills your head with thoughts that you have not had over the last couple months.

Every competitor goes through this I know, but not every competitor is me, nor are they running my race.

0:03:34.