Week 8 - "The Release of Pressure"

“The only pressure I'm under is the pressure I've put on myself.”
Mark Messier

I handle pressure with ease. Pressure attacks from all sides, I assess the situation and counteract with logic and tenacity.

There are some types of pressure that do have an impact on me, but again with sizing up the issue and coming to a logical solution to the pressure it is dissipated.

Yesterday I had pressure attacking me. None of it came from external forces, but within. The demise of the Big Toe has left a constant amount of pain throbbing in and around my foot with the toe almost 2 times larger than the left for 2 ½ days straight. With time the pain will subside, however it is not the pain I am concerned with. It is the potential loss of the nail.

I have smashed, bashed and crashed my digits many times over the years on this Earth and yet to have lost a nail. With the Boston Marathon only 8 weeks away, the visions of running and a nail being lodged in between my toes at mile 18 haunts me.

Ridiculous I know, putting internal pressure on myself for what could happen. But come on, you do not obsess over mundane things? Putting thoughts in your head and worrying about the rain, the cold, a sore calf, a tweak in the neck, etc…It drives you crazy and you feel as if your training or upcoming race is doomed. It is the same for all of us.

To add to the toe pressure, I had internalized the track workout yesterday that was set up for this morning. I agonized over hitting the times with a bum toe and this workout being one of the “meat” workouts halfway through training it was important to stay the pace.

Track
10 minutes of warm up
1 Mile @ 5:57
2 Miles @ 12:26
1 X 800M @ 2:51
10 minute warm down

On Monday, I showed Bob “the toe” and the first thing out of his mouth was you are going to lose the nail. I showed Sarah “the toe” and she said, “you’re going to lose the nail”. Michelle took a gander at “the toe” and said, “you’all going to lose that nail”. It is permanently drilled into my brain that, “I am going to lose the nail”.

Add "the toe" and a track together, it was going to be a long night with doubts filling the mind.

Bob, after his comment on Monday said something so obscure to me that for the next 36 hours I cringed at the thought of trying to attempt it. Bob said to save the nail you need to drill. He meant literally drill a hole in the nail to release the fluids built up behind the nail and let it drain.

“Drill the nail!?” The mere thought of this caused shivers down my spine. Drilling the nail and drilling to deep, crossed my mind a thousand times. The pain of this is not worth it…Or is it?
I am in pain, but I am not the type of person who caused self-inflected wounds or pain on one’s body. I can handle the pain, but with the pressure, the potential loss of a nail and a hard track workout in the morning, drastic times called for drastic measures.

Arriving home last night while Sarah and Grace were out, I went upstairs with Ellie and prepped for surgery. To relieve the pressure from the toe would kill two birds at once, allowing a relief of the constant pain and also allow a better workout at the track.

Drill, drill bit, iodine, rubbing alcohol, gauze, paper towels and Ellie standing by with the camera.
I proceeded and Ellie took these shots right before she ran out of the bathroom, saying, “I am going to throw up!”

This is where a picture says a thousand words.

As everyone takes a big gulp and looks at the picture one more time, this relief of one pressure killed two birds with one drilling.

The pressure was released and the swelling subsided and I was able this morning to hit the times register above on my track workout, with some pain, but not piercing pain like last night.

I appreciate the company this morning on a cool (not cold), mild (not rainy) Wednesday morning with the Wonder Twins and Susan. The Twins were in sync as always and it was good to see Susan knocking out 12-300M's. I almost caught her on one of her reps! Susan, you have to admit though those 300’s were hard it was a lot better than the dreadmill any day.

When you put unneeded pressures on yourself try pulling out the drill, plugging it in, press the button and just listen to the sound of the motor. Then go back to the image above and think, “Is the pressure I am experiencing really worth it?”